Ambassadorship Wins the Day

As a pit bull advocate I know we all live for those little moments when we know that we've helped change someone's mind and heart about pit bulls.  Most of us have learned that we can't tell people about pit bulls but must show them.  For most of us those moments when we are able to give someone a positive experience that challenges their fear of pit bulls come few and far between, if ever at all.  Last night in my own home I was blessed with one of those wonderful miracle moments and wanted to share it with a very specific and important message.

This week some old and very dear friends we haven't seen in a long time have been visiting us from far away.  They have been sightseeing during the day when we are at work and spending the evenings with us catching up on old news (we will call our friends David and Holly).  Last evening our friends asked if some other friends of theirs, who are traveling to attend the same wedding that David and Holly are, could stop in and visit with them in our home.  We had never met these people but knew that if they were friends of David and Holly's that we would enjoy their company so of course we responded with a yes.  When our friends' friends arrived we made sure that our two pit bulls, Max and Scooby, behaved themselves and asked our friends friends (we'll call them Janie and Ron) to obey the 'no touch, no talk, no eye contact' rule that we try to enforce for people entering our home.  Janie and Ron gladly obliged while Max and Scooby sniffed them all over.  Scooby got a whiff of Janie and Ron's dog (that was out in their motor-home on the street in front of the house) and started to growl.  He didn't really threaten them in any way but simply growled nervously and gave a little half bark from time to time; more a chuff than a bark really.  We assured our new guests that we would control Scooby and to just allow him to continue to sniff them while not attempting to engage him themselves.  We wanted him to feel comfortable around them and knew this would be a good way to let him know that they posed no threat to him.

Our newly arrived guests took their seats in our family room and we started to visit, getting to know them, while Max and Scooby milled around continuing to sniff them and they being great guests didn't try to engage either of our dogs. Scooby continued to sniff and then growl a bit from time to time at which time we told him to stop and asked him to go lie down which he did. After a while Scooby relaxed and laid at Ron's feet but would get up from time to time to re-sniff our new guests and then give a little warning growl or chuff to let us know he wasn't quite sure about the scent of their dog on them.  Janie seemed a bit nervous about Scooby and even Max and as we talked to get to know one another she started talking about how they, pit bulls, got such a bad rap and that she had just recently learned how bad it was for pit bulls when they had to answer the question on their homeowners insurance policy application of whether or not they had a pit bull.  She went on to say that she had until then had no idea just how tough it was to have a pit bull as a family pet and then she dropped the bombshell I hadn't expected;  she was deathly afraid of pit bulls.  She was afraid even though she knew intellectually that it wasn't the breed of dog that determined that it was dangerous but how the dog was handled by the human.  I had told her a few moments earlier that I was a pit bull advocate and after her admission of her fear we started to talk about pit bulls.  I felt no judgment of her for her fear but only tried to share some information about these dogs, and dogs in general, with her.  As the evening wore on and she eagerly took in the information I was sharing with her about Breed Specific Legislation and such she started to relax more and more.  Scooby kept getting up, sniffing her and then growling under his breath which made her very wary of him, especially when I remarked that I really didn't think he would ever bite anyone but that I wasn't going to allow him to do it so we will never find out.  I believe that our being able to manage Scooby's growling really helped because she was able to see that we had complete control over our dog and that we wouldn't allow him to harm her.  I also think that providing her with information like he has no words so his growling is the only way he has to tell us that he's uncertain and that his growling was based on his own fear and/or nervousness also helped her see him and his actions in a less threatening light. Janie is very intuitive in that she expressed to me that a part of the issue that may have contributed to Scooby's nervousness was her own feelings/attitude; her own fear.  She also acknowledged that in order to overcome our fears we must face them and so to her credit she just kept doing her best to relax and to allow the dogs to acclimate to her.  

Max of course is a nearly bullet proof dog so he simply approached her from time to time sniffing, wagging his tail and asking for her attention but she didn't give it aside from just observing him and his manner when he was near her.  She could see, as we discussed the dogs and their behaviors, their different personalities emerge and was beginning to understand how they related to us and to one another differently because of their individual personalities.  I think that seeing that two of the same 'kind' of dogs were so vastly different helped her understand that not all pit bulls are inherently dangerous or even that not all pit bulls have a propensity for nervousness or aggression.  As we talked and she observed she relaxed more and more telling me that she felt as if her being there in our home that evening was meant to be because she knew that being there with our dogs and us was helping her overcome a fear that logically she knew she shouldn't have but had anyway.  At one point with Scooby curled up at Ron's feet obviously very relaxed Max got up and went to Janie.  His demeanor was the usual Max only he wasn't attempting to push the limits and crawl up in our guests lap like he usually does, which I found quite surprising.  His body language showed that he was relaxed around her and was not interested in harming her in any way.  As he approached her she looked down at him, still I think a bit nervous, and watched as he walked up to her calmly and then licked her hand a few times. Then he simply walked away as if to say to her, "See?  I mean you no harm; I just want to be your friend."  She drew her hand up to her chest smiling widely and giggling she said, "he licked me," as if her favorite celebrity or someone she admired greatly had just talked to her or held her hand.  It was obvious that she enjoyed it and treasured it. I know that with Max's calm and kind gesture a bit more of her fear faded away and was replaced with an affection for these loving cuddle-bugs that so many pit bulls tend to be.

We continued to talk about pit bulls and then our other dogs Zeus and Odin who are no longer with us in this world for quite a while and I know, because she told me again and again, that on this evening a mind was set at ease, a heart was softened and a fear was lessened greatly.  I feel so very blessed to have been able to help her with this fear and to have found a new friend; one that I think just might become a pit bull advocate in her own right some day.  What a true blessing for us all and we owe it all to Max being a perfect pit bull ambassador and Scooby helping us demonstrate that even when dogs have anxiety or nervous issues all is not lost and that it truly is the human being in charge that determines whether or not that dog acts out against others because of his issues.  I hope I gained trust last night from both Janie and from Scooby as nothing bad happened, we worked through it all with calm and assertive guidance and it ended very well for everyone involved.

Okay so here is the message I wanted to share with everyone.  We all know how many people out there believe the myths, misinformation and media hype about pit bulls and about the people who have them.  We also know, from our experiences on line with the misinformed, that there are no words, no pictures, no stories, no anecdotes and no amount of factual information that we can impart to people to allay their fears about pit bulls when not face to face.  We have learned that to them we are simply those crazy pit bull loving idiots who choose to live in denial that our dogs will turn on us or someone else and will sooner or later kill someone or something. So if words cannot change their minds and hearts what do we do?  We make sure that our dogs are calm, obedient, well-behaved, well-socialized and balanced dogs regardless of what 'method' we may choose (as long as it does not involve yelling, hitting, kicking or punishing our dogs) and then get 'out there' with our pit bull ambassadors so we can show people what kind of dogs they are because we are responsible dog owners.  This my friends is the only way we will ever end BSL and all of the other ills that plague pit bulls and their responsible owners today.  Most people will not believe it until they see it so we must provide as many people as possible with a positive pit bull experience up close and personal-like as often as we can. Together, if we take on this mission, we will manifest a change in how pit bulls are perceived, how they are treated and how we are treated as dog owners by law enforcement, the authorities, our government bodies and just the public in general.  

This is a mission that anyone can take on and accomplish.  You don't have to be an advocate.  You don't have to do anything but have a pit bull to help people view our dogs and us in a completely different way.  I urge you all to 'get involved' simply by doing whatever you need to do to help your pit bull be an ambassador for the group of bully breeds that are referred to as pit bulls.  We can do this.  Together we can absolutely change things for the better.

Some of the ways that some people are doing this is through what is referred to as Bully Walks.  What better example of what great dogs pit bulls can be when in the hands of responsible dog owners than to see a group, large or small, of people walking together with their pit bulls when there is no fighting going on between the dogs and the owners are just simply everyday regular folks no different than the people who are watching us?

If you are interested in coordinating a walk where you live I'd be happy to help in any way that I can.  I can be reached through Facebook at The Coast to Coast Bully Walk and/or The Portland Pit Bull Parade (I've provided links below to both Facebook pages).

The Coast to Coast Bully Walk:  https://www.facebook.com/CoastToCoastBullyWalk?ref=tn_tnmn

The Portland Pit Bull Parade:  https://www.facebook.com/home.php 

A One Man/Woman Show

There is strength in numbers.  I don’t think that anyone with even a modicum of common sense would disagree with that.  Whenever trying to manifest change or achieve victory over an issue it would appear that most, if not all, people would agree that the more people/organizations/groups that are working on an issue the better the chance for success.  Historically grassroots movements have been able to bring about positive change whenever enough people get involved.  All that said one has to wonder then why some people who get involved in a cause choose not to network or join forces with more than a few, or any, other people who are working on the same cause.  Why would anyone choose to decrease their chances of achieving their goals by limiting the opportunities they might have if they chose to network with many other people working toward the same or a similar goal?  I’m clueless on that issue.

I have ‘officially’ been a pit bull advocate since February of 2011 when with a friend we started an advocacy designed to address the many issues that plague pit bull type dogs and the people who choose to have them.  We started on a local basis and have expanded into the global theater of pit bull advocates/rescues/owners.  I’d never advocated for any cause or being prior to this so it was all new to me.  I started from scratch, not knowing any other advocates, and simply went along using my common sense grateful for the connections I started to make with other advocates, pit bull rescues and people in the animal welfare community.  I am a team player by nature, I can be a leader if need be, and it just seemed logical to me to make as many connections as possible and to network with as many people and organizations as possible in order to make the biggest possible impact on the current state of affairs for pit bulls and the people who have them.  I have dedicated myself to reaching out to other pit bull advocates, pit bull rescues and just pit bull owners who are interested in advocating for their family dogs over the past two and a half years and what I have found is somewhat shocking to me.  While some people have truly appreciated the offer to help them do what they do while helping us promote the bully walk concept there are some who have pretty much blown us off time and time again.  At first I was angry, then I took it personally and now I’m just perplexed.

I can assume that I understand why the people who have given us the cold shoulder would do such a thing; especially when they appear to be very driven, active and dedicated people to their own part of the overall cause.  But assuming one understands, based on one’s own perceptions, and truly understanding are two completely different things.  I would not cast aspersions on anyone with the limited amount of knowledge I have of their reason for not wanting to join forces because that would be judging them for things that may not be true.  However after continuously contacting them, reaching out to them, nearly to the point of stalking them and their not responding to messages or requests to communicate what can anyone think?  Are they unconsciously trying to single-handedly save the world or are they simply not very social people who prefer to walk alone?  Either way while some of them who fall into this category are quite capable of getting things done on their own I have great difficulty understanding why anyone would refuse help from someone else for the sake of doing it all themselves.  Is it a need for them to get all of the glory and/or credit?  Is it the misguided concept that only they can really do it right or that only they truly care and can be effective?  Is it due to their simply being anti-social beings that don’t play well with others?  Is it because they are of a suspicious nature and believe that we somehow will be a detriment to what they do and to what they are trying to achieve?  I’m dumbfounded. 

I have managed not to take it personally, as I did in the beginning, but to understand that while some people in the forefront of the pit bull issue have no interest in joining forces with others working on the same issues there are many others who not only are more than willing to join forces but who appreciate it beyond measure.  To be clear there are many more people/organizations that I have found around the world who want to be a part of the solution, to join the chorus, and who relish the idea of being a part of a bigger picture than there are those who refuse and that is a great advantage for pit bulls and the people who have them in the long run.  Those who we have managed to forge a relationship with, some very well known and others who have always worked behind the scenes, have been the greatest blessing to us.  They have not only supported us in what we do but they have allowed us to support them as well.  We are currently involved with many who are one by one joining a chorus that hopefully will be able to be heard around the world and that hopefully will be able to make a great impact on the global community’s perception of pit bull type dogs, the majority of people who have them and what/who determines how safe or dangerous a dog is.

In the end I suppose the message I am trying to share here in this blog with everyone is that nobody out here wants to steal your thunder or to ride on your coat tails but all we want is to put an end to Breed Specific Legislation, to dog fighting, to people with pit bulls not being able to find a rental property where their dog is welcomed or allowed, to eventually show the world that their fears that all dogs that look like or are full or part ‘pit bull type’ dog are inherently dangerous are totally unfounded and to help all people understand that what determines how safe or dangerous any dog is will always be the human being in charge of the dog and not the dog’s breed make-up.  Together with the many other fine pit bull advocates, rescues and owners we will manifest a change in the public’s view of pit bulls and the majority of the people who have them but to be completely honest we could achieve this so much sooner, more effectively and more efficiently if we had your support, your help and/or your participation. 

Those of us who have joined forces, but who ALL still retain our own identity and our organizations own identity, would welcome and even relish your help in the cause that affects so many dogs and people around the world today.  There ‘is’ strength in numbers and when we all sing in the same chorus the world can’t help but listen to us and to embrace the message that we are all trying to send about pit bulls and the people who have them.

Thank you for listening.  

If anyone reading this blog is interested in 'joining the chorus' please visit the 'Friends of Conversations With A Pit Bull' Facebook page, link provided below, and request to join the group.  You won't regret it.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/CWAPBFILM/

Which Works Best? A Positive or Negative Approach to Networking for Dogs

DISCLAIMER:  THE FOLLOWING IS AN ‘OBSERVATION’ AND AN ‘OPINION’.  IT IS NOT A JUDGEMENT OF ANYONE ANYWHERE NOR IS IT A GENERALIZATION AS THERE ARE MANY OUT THERE TO WHICH THIS DOES NOT APPLY.  IT IS AN ATTEMPT TO OPEN AVENUES OF UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN TWO OBVIOUSLY OPPOSITE SIDES OF AN ISSUE.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on Facebook lately, more than usual, by very well meaning animal welfare folks who would like to deter people from surrendering their pets to shelters.  It seems that the popular approach is to either shame them into not doing it or changing their minds about doing it by exposing them to horrific videos and photos of what happens to animals when they enter the shelter.  First of all for a vast majority of those people who surrender their pets to a shelter it is a heartbreaking and extremely difficult decision based on their belief, whether accurate or not, that this is the last resort and is the only option they have left.  Plus they usually have the belief that the shelter is actually a sanctuary; a ‘real’ shelter for animals and that everything possible will be done to place their pet in a better situation than their own. 

Shaming people and appealing to their pity really doesn’t work because if it was a successful approach to this issue the surrenders to shelters would have plummeted by now because this is the same old approach that has been used for years by most animal welfare people.  If it isn’t working when you do a bit of it then doing a whole lot more of it will not change anything.  In addition when doing more of something that is ineffective doesn’t work it seems to lead some in the animal welfare community to think even less of the public and only works to reaffirm their suspicions that most people who aren’t in the animal welfare community are sorry pieces of shit who could care less about the animals they take into their homes.  It is a truly vicious cycle because we can’t help people when we have a negative perception of who they really are and what their motivations are so the public finds it difficult to want to work with or reach out for help to an organization who publicly judges and condemns anyone who would surrender a pet to a shelter.  This attitude, on both sides, and the vocalization of it sets up an impasse where there is little or no hope for resolution.

It takes effort to complain about the POS people who ‘dump’ their pets at a shelter and effort to post opinions about it all over the internet.  So why not apply some of that energy, drive and effort into coming up with better ways to help people avoid this heart-wrenching decision and action of surrendering a pet to a shelter?  Why not look at the reasons people give for surrendering their pets and then put energy into creating easily accessible and highly public programs to help people who are in need of help with their pet whether it be a behavior issue, a new baby in the family, a divorce, loss of a residence, loss of income or whatever? 

If there are already programs in place to help people avoid this decision then advertise them.  Advertise them instead of the information that is advertised to shame people or show them the darker side of shelters.  Advertise them until they have saturated the public’s view of shelters and what they represent.  Typically by the time a pet owner has made that trip to the shelter or called the shelter for information about surrendering their pet they have already made up their minds and are no longer open to other options because by then they believe they’ve exhausted all of the options and have prepared themselves for the pain of surrendering their pet.  Some shelters need to work much harder to get the word out to people so that they understand that there is help BEFORE they decide they must give up their pet.  Have highly publicized community events that invite people in who have pets and that show them the many programs that exist to help them keep their pets safe, healthy and behaviorally balanced.  Get the word out that there is low or no cost spay neuter, training classes and assistance in the care of elderly pets.  For a shelter the public can be their biggest ally or their biggest burden BUT most people in the public do not want to support any organization that publicly appears to lack compassion for humans and appears only to have compassion for the animals that they exist to care for.

‘To care for’.  That leads to another side of this issue.  Am I the only one who finds it hugely ironic and even a bit twisted that when those animal welfare people who are so vocal about the POS pet owner that just ‘dumped’ a pet at their shelter speak out about a surrender they act as if it is the absolute WORST thing that anyone could ever do to a pet?  Aren’t shelters called shelters because they are there to shelter the animals from harm, to save their lives, to improve their lives, to protect them from those who would abuse or neglect them?  How can it be a ‘shelter’ and at the same time be the absolute WORST place for a human being to take a pet?  Isn’t it up to those who operate the shelter to ensure that their facility is a safe place for animals to go where all options are exhausted before a pet is euthanized for behavioral issues, for health issues or to make room for new intakes?  Isn’t it up to those who operate a shelter to reach out to and involve the community in a positive manner to obtain those additional funds they may need to ensure that their shelter kills as few animals as possible?  Isn’t it up to those people who operate a shelter to constantly look to new ways, new options and new resources so that they kill as few animals as possible?  Low/no kill is a possibility.  It is being seen more and more around the country and even around the world.  If people in one community can make it happen then people in other communities can make it happen.  Rather than squabble over the possibility and/or viability of a ‘no’ kill shelter and what ‘no’ kill actually looks like why not seek out those who appear to be doing it successfully and find out how they are doing it?  Again it takes as much, if maybe not more, energy to resist change and to defend one’s policies and practices as it does to learn how others are changing and implement those policies and practices into one’s own shelter.

Saving lives requires a focus on the solution; not just on the problem.  In the medical field, with humans, the professionals don’t just sit around complaining about cancer and other diseases blaming the humans who contract them for the actions that may or may not have led to their contracting the disease.  They focus on the solution, the root causes, on prevention and on the healing.  They improve their practices, their methods, their facilities constantly.  They actively seek out others in their field, and even outside of their field, they find out from other people in the medical community what is working for them and then adopt it for the betterment of the people in their care.  They typically don’t just sit there nursing their own ego when others are more successful at helping people than they are and make excuses why their success rate is lower than some others.

In the end if the animal welfare community feels that the public needs to step up and become more responsible pet owners isn’t it fair for the pet owning community to feel that shelters need to step up to become a true ‘shelter’ for animals in need?  There are always two sides to every issue but no issue can ever be remedied when one side or the other can only see their own side and only seeks to defend their reason for being and doing what they are and what they do.  Concurrently somebody somewhere has to extend the olive branch and make the first move, reach out the first hand to connect in a positive manner to others.  Why sit and wait for the other side to wake up?  Why not be the first to begin the healing process and truly create a partnership between shelters and the community?

Why not manifest change within so that change without will occur?

THIS IS NOT A RANT, THIS IS NOT AN ACCUSATION, THIS IS ONLY AN IDEA OR TWO TO SHARE.